I have been thinking a lot about Chico Mendes lately. I have noticed that he is sleeping a lot. Mind you, he was never “active” unless you count actively seeking a lap as a viable measure.
Lately he has been super quiet and just sleeping a lot. Deep sleep. Right now he is curled up behind my leg and I hear deep breaths coming out of him. I want to take him in my arms and cuddle him. Tell him I’m sorry I haven’t been paying him much attention. In like 2 and a half years.
I want to curl up with him and do nothing on the couch. But, there’s just no time. The frog princess loves him but he prefers the back of my legs to her open arms. This could possibly be because she takes great enjoyment in chasing him around the house with the lawnmower that has balls in it. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s loud and obnoxious even to me. I can imagine he thinks it’s the end of the world that’s chasing him. I try to tell her that he doesn’t like that and when he asks to be let outside, I gently try to explain that he doesn’t want to be friends right at the moment. But even then, he licks her legs when she’s been out of the house and she is fearless when it comes to dogs, thanks to him.
He is not sick but I’m already dreading when he gets too old. Thinking back to Sheba, my shih tzu. I had to put her down in November of ’08 because she had cancer. I’d had her since college. Chico came to me 24 hours after my grandma passed away 7 years ago. He helped me through that period and I can’t help but feel bad that motherhood changed my relationship with him. After all, wasn’t he my first baby boy?
And so, I sit here breaking my own rules. He came seeking love which he doesn’t do often anymore and I let him up on the couch. Like the good old days. Before a human baby filled the belly that he used to lie on and life got complicated for the dog that is so loved.