This Is Who I Am Volume VIII


Last night I was in my bed listening to some music with the mamiPad propped on my stomach. It didn’t lie flat and I wondered why. When I looked further down to where the tablet met my tummy I noticed a puff that wasn’t there before and I thought “well, damn”.  But it made me smile and as I did, these words flowed out…

I look down and see softness where there was once the firmness of youth and the promise of what I have already birthed. I can’t help but smile. This is who I am.

Theres a weight to my breasts that only nourishment can bring. Long past are the days when they are merely thought of as a predetermined symbol of what I have already done. Because, this is who I am.

Though I can’t say my body is scarred and beaten by the miracle of bringing forth a life,  it has certainly softened me in places I didn’t think it would. I’m okay with that. After all, this is who I am.

On nights like this, I can sit back and think of the long nights of the weekend when I was dressed to a tee and was given the attention and accolades that I could certainly command. Now? I can tell you about the hugs I received, the kisses I demanded. Though I could dance in 5 inch heels, the best way to go about it is barefoot with little feet following your lead.

Don’t get me wrong, I sometimes miss the days when I’d hang with the pretty people that thought themselves someone because of the way they looked. Now I hang with the beautiful people who know they are. Simply. Are. And that is so much deeper.

My back hurts from picking up a toddler though with every pound my weight is lifted. My body has lost some of its appeal though I am perfect in what she needs. I may have sleepless nights but in the morning, when I look in the mirror all I can do is smile. At the beauty that I cannot find in magazines. At the twinkle that cannot be captured on film.

Because I am perfect. I am whole. I am true. Can you say the same about you?


I think it’s interesting that I never think about the Blogger site that I set up so long ago. I always think of this as my first blog but, it really isn’t.  The rest of the volumes of this series can be found there. I’m thinking about bringing them over and will probably do that in the coming months.  Here is Between the Shades.


Sili is the owner and Chief Executive Mami of Organizada Planner  and My Mamihood. She was selected as one of Latina Magazine's top Blogger to Know and Latina Magazine's top 10 Mommy bloggers. Mothering a 6-year old little girl and figuring out why the clean laundry won't automatigically insert itself where it belongs round out her current passions. Sili is deeply committed to changing the world and coaching you right along toward your purpose. She is viciously awesome. Sili raises armies and builds empires. She also bakes cookies and thangs.


  1. Such a touchingly beautiful self-reflection . . . We are what we are, indeed, and should love and appreciate what we see in the mirror.
    Blessings to you!
    Martha Orlando recently posted..Meditations of my HeartMy Profile

  2. SO touching!!!
    Wow, beautiful, honestly.
    Because I am perfect. I am whole. I am true. Yes you are. You certainly are. I can’t yet say the same about myself. Maybe I can say I am true, but I find myself far from being perfect, but working on it <3
    Nikky44 recently posted..Heart-SistersMy Profile

    • You are perfect. Because you are exactly what you should be right at this moment. Don’t look for the definition in the dictionary, look in the mirror.


  3. I just loved it, Sili. It made me feel good about myself, even if I’m not a Mom 🙂
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Giving A Friend The Pink SlipMy Profile

  4. Dear Sili,
    This is a beautiful write up on self-acceptance. I feel energised and affirmated suddenly..!! Thanks for this one.

  5. Lovely post!

    While there are certainly parts of my body I wouldn’t mind changing, it took having a child for me to truly appreciate my body. I look in the mirror now and I see the body of a MOM. Saggy pooch and all. And it’s just fine by me.
    kyfirewife recently posted..FireGirl’s First PedicureMy Profile

  6. Beautiful!!!

  7. LOVE this! Absolutely LOVE this! These babies change who you are physically, emotionally and morally! We owe them so much. Some like to look at the glass half empty when you switch into parenting mode, but it’s definitely half-full!!! Great post! #embracingwhotheyturnedmeinto

  8. Sili, this is a wonderful testimony to who we are as women; as mothers. This touched me deeply and I’m so glad you shared. Yes, I believe that most of us at some time, come to terms with who we are and what we look like. I am happy to be where I am in life. I want to look healthy, but I’m not so concerned about the perfect body shapes any longer. There is so much more important things in life now for me. Great post!
    Mary Hudak-Colllins recently posted..‘Made From Scratch’ Monday – Week 18My Profile

  9. Chandra Says: June 4, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    I enjoyed this post very much! I’m fast approaching my 3rd trimester and it’s getting harder to look in the mirror these days. Thanks of reminding me all the positive changes a baby can bring! And how they change us for the better 😉

  10. […] Related Post: This Is Who I Am […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge