I sit next to you and still rock you to sleep. Knowing one day you will tell me you don’t want me to do that anymore. But for now, I cherish the moment. I cherish all the moments. The sweet scent of your breath when you lay your head on the pillow next to mine and gently rub noses with me. Or when you throw your little arm around my neck while professing your love for me.
Girlchild, you are growing up too fast. As you do, I treasure those fleeting moments when you want “up” just so that you can wrap yourself around me and put your head on my shoulder. I try to tuck away into my minds’ eye the times you tell me that I am your best friend. Or the moments before you fall asleep when it becomes imperative that we hold hands and you quietly chant “mama, mami, mama” until you lull yourself to sleep.
I am distinctly aware of how big you are getting by the lasts that I can’t recall or the recollection of firsts. The hiccups while in my womb. The way you’d sway and move at the sound of Mozart’s strings. Your chubby fingers turning board book pages at 4 months. Your little body fitting comfortably onto my chest while we both slept.
My girlchild. The one that takes my breath away. The one that somehow draws a little more love out of my heart each and every day when I thought I’d already given my all.
Tomorrow will be your first day of school. When I asked you if you were sure you wanted to go you told me “yes, yes, yes!” in no uncertain terms. And then you patted me on my back and told me “I’m gonna be ok”. Do you know what those words even mean little one?
Thank you for bringing me to tears once more and for expanding my heart with each one of your soul expressions. Thank you for quoting Bob Marley to me after asking me for a big hug “It’s gonna be alright”.
Sweet girlchild. Sweet love. Sweetest daughter of all.