Two years ago I saw a movie that changed my life. I hadn’t heard of it before and haven’t heard anyone speak of it since though I have no idea how I haven’t. It’s called Motherhood and it stars Uma Thurman and Anthony Edwards.
In the movie, Uma was a blogger out of necessity but she always fancied herself a writer. And so, we see the ups and downs of what a mami has to go through in one day with all that she had going on daily plus planning for her daughter’s birthday AND on deadline to enter a blogging contest that was sure to give her some much needed recognition and cash. All she had to do was answer one simple question: what does motherhood mean to you?
And so, after sleep training the frog princess I was home alone on a Saturday night, tired. Exhausted from long hours working as a project manager, stressed out about my mami’s illness, concerned about my relationship and lonely from the burden of what I thought only I was going through, I sat down in front of the television and saw this movie. And I realized 2 things: 1. I was not alone and 2. I had to pick up the pen, so to speak, and start blogging.
This site was up the following week and this welcome was the first thing I wrote for you two years ago today.
Since then I have been through many situations: the loss of my mami, the loss of my partner, the loss of my job. But I have also shared some of my best moments and times, the frog princess growing and flourishing, my faith, funny moments, happy times and general malay. I have gotten to know some pretty awesome folks on Twitter and in real life at the various conferences I’ve attending. My CFL Latinas, My Dancing to Success Divas, My Boojahjah/Planking babes and so many more!
You’ve gotten a chance to see me birth my company and return back to school (why didn’t you stop me?!). I’ve had the pleasure of reading your comments, Tweets and Facebook messages which keep me doing this thing. There have been days when your contact is the only other meaningful positive adult interaction I’ve had.
I now want to answer the question that Uma had to answer on her blog: what does motherhood mean to you?
Motherhood is this. Every word I have written, every thought I have had, every feeling I have shared and experienced. It is waking up at 2 am in a pee-soaked bed, laughing til I cried as my frog princess nibbles on my belly, watching with wonder at my child going potty “all-me by meself”, seeing the joy of accomplishment as she figures out how to take off her socks, nighttime kisses and earnest words of love exchanged with a creature that was knitted in my womb and who grows more and more each day.
Motherhood is laughter and tears. It is experiencing loss and yet knowing that I have to get up and go the next morning. It is watching daily dances while moving my own feet and learning that my voice may not be worthy of being on the radio but dammit it makes a little someone smile. Motherhood is about dreaming BIG. Understanding that we each have a purpose in life. That we are MORE than just mamis even though being a mami is pretty fulfilling. It is recognizing that we might mother differently but that the love is the same.
And for me, motherhood is realizing that in my world, I will always have My Mamihood. Thank you for coming along for this ride. I am so grateful for each and every one of you that takes the time to read my words.
I want to do something for you. Tell me what does motherhood mean to you? If you are a blogger, feel free to link up and answer that question. If you don’t have a blog, leave me a comment below. I will be selecting a winner next Saturday that will receive a copy of the movie Motherhood for your own viewing pleasure and a special little something else (read: whatever I might have in the manner of swag in my closet).
I am grateful for many things in my life. This blog and the real life connections that have entered my life are just two of those things. Now, if I could only get that trophy wife job that I’m looking for…