Thursday , 17 April 2014

Bang the Drum: A Face of Courage

Many of you know my story. You’ve passed through this site and have read something about me losing my mami to cholangiocarcinoma (gallbladder cancer) last year.

What you might not know is that my papi is a cancer survivor. Five years ago this September, I sat in a doctor’s office with my parents and my sister and heard the news that I already knew was coming. I must’ve appeared detached with my notebook and my questions because I remember the doctor asking me if I was a case worker. Um no, I’m just anal retentive thankyouverymuch.

Papi had stage II laryngeal cancer. He’d already had surgery to remove a polyp from his vocal chords and so the next steps would be radiation. After the diagnosis, it was almost as if they had told him he had high cholesterol or something. At no point in time did I see him anything other than “let’s get the gloves on and do this”. I knew from day one he would be okay in the same way that I felt deep in my gut that mami’s cancer was a whole different beast that we’d never seen before.

Through the appointments with the radiologist, the measurements, the discussions, he was strong. We were happy about that but, it was more than that. I remember we were in the waiting area of the cancer institute one day and started up a chat with a lady there. Her husband had the same type of cancer and had also been battling depression. She took one look at dad and asked how he was doing it.

See, when you get radiation, especially on your throat, you are in a good deal of pain. The first few days are okay but later on, it’s even difficult to swallow saliva, let alone food. A lot of people lose weight and have a hard time getting through meals. We’d read all of the pamphlets and booklets, came up with shakes and ways that he could eat his food during this time. Everyone gets those and everyone knows what needs to be done.

Doing it, is a whole different thing. And man, did dad do it. He actually GAINED weight during his treatment. We had a week or so before his radiation started and so he prepared by increasing his calories. He would blend his food when he couldn’t swallow well and would will himself to do so when chances are every cell in his being was telling him to do otherwise.

Papi was determined that cancer wasn’t shit to him. I thought he was crazy. But, just like I realized that mami wasn’t in denial but rather was at peace with her path towards the end, papi was determined as all hell that this wasn’t changing his life. Do you know this man was remodeling the master bath when he got diagnosed and he continued to do the work?! Like a remodel. A new bathroom. Knocking down walls, putting in a bathtub, the whole shebang!

Yes, it took him longer than it would have if he had not been going through radiation. Some days he would do very little and often he would be seen sleeping on the couch because radiation makes you super tired. There were days that mom would get mad at him for not resting but, he wouldn’t listen.

When speaking to others and having them tell me what they went through with a similar treatment, I can’t imagine the pain he was feeling. But he never talked about it, just fought on. And, I’m glad he did. Five years ago this September, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and he kicked cancer’s ass.  In the face of everything that has happened since, I’ve grown to realize that doing that takes a lot more courage than I ever thought.

This October, Ford Warriors in Pink® has launched its first ever produced documentary, “Bang the Drum: Living Out Loud in the Face of Breast Cancer.” The film honors 11 men and women breast cancer survivors who have demonstrated strength and courage in their battle with its “Models of Courage” program. 2012 marks Ford Motor Company’s 18th year of support for the breast cancer cause. In that time, Ford has dedicated more than $115 million to the breast cancer cause.

You too can get involved in this tremendously worthy program! When you buy Ford Warriors in Pink apparel at fordcares.com, 100 percent of the net proceeds go directly to support breast cancer awareness all year long.

To keep connected, be sure to check out Ford Warriors in Pink on Facebook and follow@WarriorsinPink on Twitter.

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Ford Warriors in Pink. The opinions and text are all mine.

About Sili

Sili is the owner and Chief Executive Mami of Mamihood Media and My Mamihood. Selected as one of Latina Magazine’s top Blogger to Know in 2014 and Latina Magazine’s top 10 Mommy bloggersin 2013, My Mamihood was described as “a haven for fashion inspiration, baby concerns, must read books and even tech musings! This blog will keep you reading for hours…” When not appearing on top 10 lists or speaking passionately about those things she holds near and dear to hear heart, this Afro Latina loves hanging out with her frog princess, helping others, trash talking in her setting up all-girl Fantasy football leagues, reading and finding new gadgets to play with. She is currently punishing herself by pursuing an MBA with a concentration in social media from Southern New Hampshire University on hiatus from school much to the chagrin of her Type A personality.

7 comments

  1. Thank you for sharing your Papi’s story, Sili. My Dad too always says: “It’s all in the mind.” I do believe your Papi proved him right!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..I’m SorryMy Profile

    • Hey cuz, thanks for the story, i remember when my grandpa had prostate cancer, he was receiving radiation also, and the funny thing is that is attitude towards everything was just like tios, he just didn’t let cancer become and obstacule in his life. He too was doing gardening, fixing things in the house. One day he was litterally on the roof of our DR home, and i was wondering what the heck is this man doing, in the freaking sun at noon on the roof when he should be resting. He’d go to his treatments or what i remember he used to call his “part-time-job” and to him he saw it as that, something he needed to do and get out of the way ASAP. I remember my sibilings and myself crying together cuz we thought it was the end of grandpa’s days, but he being the smart man he is, he knew better and proved us wrong. That was his way of kicking cancer in the @ss….and i will never forget his attituted trough it all and most importantly his faith that never failed. He’s one of my heroes.

  2. This is what I love about your blog. Aside from the fact that it is well written, I feel as if had I never met you that I would still KNOW you. You share your stories and on some level we all can relate. Sometimes, I laugh reading your blog, other times I cry but I always relate. Thank you for always sharing your tales where the rest of us lack the courage to get so personal. You have made me feel not so alone when reading and thinking maybe I will be okay despite all I may go through. Just thought I would tell you that.
    Yanira Garza recently posted..How You Can Still Wear Your Spring Look Now {Personal Style}My Profile

    • Sili
      Twitter: mymamihood

      That means so much to me, Yanira. Thank you. Some days I think, no one’s reading this thing, what am I doing?! And then I see this. I feel so humbled that you can relate to my stories. Thank you…

      oxoxox

  3. This is a terrific post! It was so inspiring. My father also was diagnosed with cancer many years ago and survived!!! We all have a story. Thanks for sharing your family’s story!

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