Where do I begin? It is the summer before you turn 4 and I am astounded every day at how big you are. Not just because you’re over 3 feet tall (I don’t think I was that tall until I was 6!). You are smart, beautiful and kind. You are also ridiculously funny.
Your laughter bubbles over into joy for all those who hear it. I tell you all the time how much you are loved. In turn, you’ve taken to tell me I’m “the greatest people in the world”. You keep embellishing that statement because you love the reaction on my face. At night, as you fade to sleep you will swing your arm around my neck while lying on your bed and tell me “I love you so, so, so much”. And you don’t have to say those words because the look in your eyes tell it all.
Baby girl, you are endearing in ways that I cannot explain. Everyone falls in love with you. Thank you for being the awesomest 3 year old in the universe. Thank you for behaving so well and for making other kids look bad when we are out in public. It makes up for me feeling like a bad mami for letting you watch a little too much TV sometimes (I keed, I keed).
About a month or two ago (can’t believe it’s been that long) you learned how to take your t-shirts off. And I was reminded once again about what a blessing and wonder it is to watch a little human being learn all those little things we take for granted once we grow up. I think it’s no coincidence that one day you turned to me and said “Mami, you are grateful.” Truer words have not been spoken.
I am grateful to you for your knowing spirit. For still talking about my Mami. This morning’s conversation brought me to tears:
“Mami, do you remember when we fly the balloons to her (abuela).”
“Yes baby, I remember.”
“Her loves me.”
I stopped. Swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yes she does baby.”
“And her loves you very much too.”
You have been talking about sending her balloons again so today we will go and do so. You told me that she likes it when you send balloons and then told me that she lives uptown. Does she ever!
You are growing up way too fast. But I adore that you still love to cuddle with me. That you ask me to sit in the rocking chair when you want to spend quality time with me or are feeling tired. You are all arms and legs (and toddler belly still).
One thing I will ask. Please stop wondering about how you got out of my belly and about how other kids got out as well. I need more time. Yesterday you decided that you’d come out of my leg but then apologized because you didn’t mean to break my leg. Seriously, you’re too much.
I hold you some days knowing that at some point you might not like me, you may say you don’t love me and you might request another mother. My feelings are hurt in advance. I don’t ever remember saying these things to my mami but maybe I thought them. There will be a day when you will say you are too big to curl up on my lap. Too big for pecks on the lips and kisses covering your face.
But during this summer of your 3rd year, we will sing down grocery store isles, skip on the way to speech therapy (we need to work on your skipping), bask in the sun at the nearest beaches, stroll around Sea World, fly around Fantasy Land, watch Disney movies while eating popcorn and read all of the books that reside in your bookcase. We will enjoy tea parties, go shopping for some dress up gear and of course, we will dance.
Thinking about how much I love you makes my heart ache and brings tears to my eyes. Because I could write until the day I take my last breath and it would still not be enough to express my love for you.
Thank you for being such a special spirit and for giving me the most important title in the whole wide world.