(or, how your kids teach you to let it go)
Thursday was a long day! Â Tons of action going on at the office (no, I’m not going to go into it here since apparently, someone at work has discovered this blog and thus, they might recognize whoever I speak of here ;-)). Â On top of that, we were scheduled to have a potluck on Friday and for some insane reason (probably because I loved the idea of possibly having enough time to do crazy shit like go food shopping during the week) I volunteered myself to bring in macaroni and cheese.
Now, let me just say that I do make the bomb mac & cheese. Â Not one, not two, not three but SIX types of cheeses! Paula Deen would be proud and I think my recipe may actually outdo hers in the calorie and heart-attack-inducing categories. Â That being said, I’d never done my mac & cheese in a crock pot but thought that would be best since we weren’t going to be chowing down at 9 a.m.
Enter: my day. Â Insanity at the office, I end up leaving later than I’d planned. Halfway home I text The Man to find out if he bought milk for the baby because we were out. I hear nothing back because he’s unreachable by the time I contact him. Â Double damn. Did I mention that we have a 6:30-7 p.m. bedtime? And that by the time I picked her up it was 6:15. Â I had three options: 1. breakdown and cry in the car, 2. stop at CVS and grab some milk there and somehow make it back out of the house after The Man got home @ 10:30 to buy all the ingredients for the potluck or 3. make a pitstop at the Walmart Neighborhood supermarket. Â As you might’ve guessed from the title of this blog, I chose option 3. Â Mainly because I had no tissues in the car to go with option 1 and the last time I went into CVS I walked out with diapers and wine.
I pull in to a parking spot and advise the frog princess that we have to run in and run right back out and could she please not freak out from being too tired. Â She looks at me and reaches out. I take this as a sign that she’s on board with my request. Â We get a shopping cart and run in. Problem #1, I ain’t got no stinkin’ list! Problem #2, the pressure from timing myself during this ordeal was making me forget what the hell I needed to get. Â But as I ran in I was telling the frog princess that we had to run, run, run and as is always our routine, I started making up a little song. We ran down the first isle and had to double back because I forgot one thing. Got the milk then realized I forgot the cheeses in the first isle. Â I start zig zagging the cart and saying “zoom!” which my little girl mimics and starts saying “woom!”.
And so it begins. Â I start letting go of my day. Â The last minute requests, the unexpected situations, the running around, the pressure that I think makes me good at what I do. The anxiety of trying to juggle the awesomeness of work with the awesomeness of being a mami. Â The time ticks away. Â I remember we need some breakfast foods (oatmeal, cream of wheat, etc). Â As I am zooming and seeing the smiling face of my little girl I feel it. Â I look back and see it on the floor like a piece of discarded clothing. Â My day. Â Full of all the uncertainties, stresses, maddening moments. Â Just lying there, in a pile. Â I see it for what it is. Â Something that’s been worn but must be discarded. Â I turn back to my frog princess, kiss her, thank her for being so wonderful and calm even though we are so close to her bedtime and walk way without a second look back. Â At checkout my baby smiles happily at the cashier and waves goodbye. Â In my head, I do the same to that invisible pile in the cereal isle. Â I make my way home to more giggles, a bottle full of Silk, a little girl that still wishes to be nursed before bedtime, a hug and what has become her traditional “it’s ok” pat that she instinctively gives me right when I need it, prayers of praise and requests and finally a sleepy baby girl. Â She has taught me so much in these past 15 months (well, longer because she’s been teaching me since she was being knitted in my womb). Â I know she’ll continue to teach me. Â Patience, priorities and perseverance. Â And how, on a Thursday night I had the time of my life and managed to leave my workday in the cereal isle at Walmart. Â You should try it some time. Â I know I will do it again…
(PS: I woke up refreshed, early in the morning, threw my mac and cheese together and headed to work. Â Rumor has it that it wasn’t half bad. ;-))