(caution, this may cause feelings of mushiness)
As we approach the frog princess’s 1st birthday, I am looking back and reading the journal I’ve been keeping for her since I was pregnant. I didn’t write as often as I liked but, a few things have caught my attention. Sometimes I read some things and think: holy crap! Did I write that? This is one of those.
The thing I love about writing is that I can look back and have a written account of what happened, words that mold and form memory. Even if I didn’t write every day, I have these nuggets of love that I’m leaving behind for my frog princess to find and grow in. A collection of words that will hopefully describe the love we feel for her and the lessons we are learning along the way.
11/12/09
8:36 a.m.
The frog princess’s Epiphany:
Days go by at times filled with all of the things that we didn’t get to do, the tasks that remain open, the discords that miscommunications can bring and the general rigmarole of life.
Then one day like this goes by and you wake up to soft hiccups quietly ticking off the time that you are wasting on the things that do not really matter and a protective, loving, sleeping hand guarding the child you carry inside. Suddenly the epiphany comes:
Don’t waste time
(my quote of the day today is: You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. – Shira Tehrani). This means physical time as well as emotional. We sometimes allow past experiences and a general sense of fear to muddy up the present. If I die when I walk out of the house today, I think I would prefer to have spent my last day filled with positive things, God and the grace that He’s shown me.
Don’t allow people’s actions to change your own
You know the type of person that you are, you know what and how you feel. Allow yourself to bring in positive energy at all times regardless of what others do. You have NO control over them. As much as we think we influence others, nothing that we say or do is going to change another person if that person does not wish to be changed. So, give it up to God, He knows what He’s doing.
Let it go
A lot of us are good at holding on to things. And we tell ourselves that it’s for our own good. So that we don’t relive unpleasant experiences, so that we can protect ourselves. There’s no such thing if you are interested in living instead of existing. You will be hurt (no ifs, ands or buts), you will be hurt again, you will experience pain, tragedy, loss, betrayal, anger and sadness. Embrace those feelings when they come to you. But don’t live your life holding on to things that weigh you down. If you’re holding on to things now, set them down and walk away. Don’t bring it up again, don’t rationalize, analyze or deconstruct. Letting go is one of the hardest things that one can do. Because then we tell the world “here I am, willing to live my life! Willing to take all of the good that the universe is sending my way (even if it means enduring some not so great moments)”. When we let go, we learn to fly on the trapeze with no safety net below.
to be continued…
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