Yesterday I had a thought: I’m never going date! Â And immediately I thought of Shell and Pour Your Heart Out. Â Though on many days I feel very much like everything’s going to be okay and God will give me just what I need, let’s face it, I’m human (hard to believe, I know). Â Every once in a while I begin to overanalyze, ponder and try to figure out how He’s going to get it done. Â Because, I mean really, God needs a project manager, right?
I’m ready to date. Ready to head out there and meet someone that I can go out, connect and have fun with. I’ve been on a couple of dates with one particular person but, circumstances have changed and though I very much liked him, he’s got some things to work out. Â I was at least proud of myself that I was able to recognize this early on and step away before I got too close.
So, where do I meet a nice (not so young) man that is God-fearing, faithful, truthful, funny, supportive and loving (and who won’t mind that I’m totally going to blog about him)? Â I was thinking about this yesterday and realized there’s no place. Â Church? I’m usually busy with my date with Jesus when I’m there and tend to block everything out. Â The supermarket? Â The one sure way to get yourself tazed in my book is by approaching me in the parking lot while I’m with my daughter. Â Sorry, I watch way too much Criminal Minds. Â I’m not the going out type anymore. Â I have gone to the clubs a few times in the last 6 months and I was bored and not impressed. Â I’d say that I’m over the club scene.
My baby girl is almost 2 and I think about another child. Â But I have no sperm. Â And my eggs are aging as we speak. Â Add to that the fact that I am pretty sure my endometriosis is rearing it’s ugly head again and it leaves me slightly hyperventilating at the thought that I might not experience the beautiful miracle of pregnancy again.
Back to the man. Â Where do I go? The thought of online dating is not at all appetizing (again, too much Criminal Minds). Â Perhaps I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Â I’m grateful for my frog princess and for my writing. Â Grateful that I can concentrate on my passions. Â Perhaps it’s not a bad thing. I just wonder sometimes if, now that I am on the other side of 35 and I have a child, dating/marriage/another child is out of the question.
For single mamis out there, what’s your take on this topic?