Frog Princess: “Mami, when I am a grown up, do I have to have a baby?”
Me: “You can have a baby. Only when you are a grown up.”
Frog Princess: “But, will my body just know to have a baby?”
Me: “Do you want to have a baby?”
Frog Princess: “No.”
Me: “Then you don’t!”
Frog Princess: “But will my body listen to me when I tell it I don’t want to?”
I give up, roll my eyes, curse whereverthehell she got this information and then try to explain to her, in a mature, well-developed four-year old way, that she has control over what happens to her body! The feminist in me was all Roe v. Wade but I think I’ll save that til her 8th birthday.
There’s a bigger conversation here but I will need a lot more time to pull it together. Good thing because we jumped right into…
No idea how we got into the name conversation but this is where it picked up…
Me: “Well, actually, you remember you were named after your abuela, don’t you?”
Frog Princess: eyes wide open (even though this is not the first time she’s heard that)
I tell her the story of her name (which I have saved in an electronic journal – side prayer: Lord, please don’t ever let me lose that). She is happy. But then this conversation leads to…
(She’s lying on top of me and I am cupping her face)
Frog Princess: “Is my abuela in heaven?”
Me: “Yes, she is.”
Frog Princess: “Mami, I wish my abuela could see me when I was born.”
Me: “Baby, she did!”
Frog Princess: “but I wish she could see me now that I’m big!”
Me: “Baby, she sees you from heaven.”
Frog Princess: “yeah but I wish she could see me for real.”
Me: “I know baby.”
And with a deep, deep sigh and so much emotion that it made me ache, she says “I really, really miss my abuela” and put her head on my chest.
Yes, I had tears in my eyes. Mainly for the third scene but mostly because I knew these were the moments I would miss when Mami passed away. Not the moments before, not the wishing or regretting. But the “growing without her” moments.
It’s interesting how closely our children know our hearts, isn’t it? I am so amazed by this child. So enthralled in her being and growing and learning and experiencing. Things haven’t been easy but man, I so enjoy this creature. I often say prayers of gratitude and tonight, I think I said a couple of extra ones.
What has your child(ren) said that has made you go “whoa”?