I was looking through my little girl’s journal. I haven’t written in it very much since last year but, this one caught my heart as I was copying it over to Evernote. It is the very first entry after finding out that we were pregnant.
These are the first words written just for you: we love you and canâ€™t wait til you get here.Â We are so excited that you are on you way.Â Your aunt Shereen and uncle Paul just left after coming over to celebrate the news.
We found out about you @ 7:23 a.m. on April 11, 2009.Â I went to the doctor 2 days later on Monday April 13 and the doctor confirmed what the home pregnancy test showed.
Your dad and I canâ€™t stop smiling.Â We feel so blessed that youâ€™re on your way.Â We pray for you.Â That you are healthy.Â We know youâ€™ll be wonderful and beautiful because you are ours.
My dad cried from joy when he heard the news and my mom canâ€™t stop telling people.Â Your dad’s parents are equally as happy.Â We told them over the phone since theyâ€™re in South Carolina.Â Your titi Q has had the best reaction yet.Â She was in Connecticut and when I told her over the phone she yelled Oh My Gosh! Over and over, louder and louder until she was crying.Â It made me cry too.Â Your titi G is just as excited and has already predicted youâ€™re going to be a girl.Â Weâ€™ll see if sheâ€™s right.
We donâ€™t know when you will read this.Â If you will be happy or sad.Â If youâ€™re mad at us or we are upset with you.Â But we wanted you to know that you are loved and wanted beyond words.Â We will always love you, no matter what.
By the way your uncle Pete said heâ€™s not babysitting for the first two years.Â You know heâ€™s always joking.Â He canâ€™t wait to see you.Â And neither can we.
Mami y Papi
It seems like I wrote that a lifetime ago. Â As if I was a different person. Â My mother is alive and well in those journals. Â Happy, healthy and ecstatic at the news of my pregnancy. I remember telling her I’d missed my period. She wanted me to wait longer to take the test because she was just wanting it so badly that she thought a little more time would assure a positive result. How I loved my parents reaction. Â How loved I felt. I can’t describe it. Â As we head into the frog princess’s birthday week, I can’t help but be humbled and grateful for every single moment of the past. And every moment that I captured (though most times, I’m apologizing for not writing more often. Â Sound familiar?).
If you have children, did you keep a journal while pregnant? Do you keep one for your kids now? If you’re not, do you keep a journal of your happenings? I did before and sometimes I don’t know what I was thinking and wonder what will happen when I become ridiculously famous. Â Because the gaps aren’t there to be filled on those journals. Â I guess that’s the only thing I don’t like about journaling. Â Unless you’re like Oprah and have kept journals since you were a child, how will someone know what happened during the gaps? Between the lines of the journal? Who will speak of the little things? More importantly, are they necessary?